Be miserable or motivate yourself. Be helpless or in control. Blame someone or take responsibility. These are examples of two ways you can see your life. One way leads to happiness, the other to dissatisfaction.
I’m working through this weekend with my project team to complete an approaching deadline. At one point in time, I would have seen working the weekend as “This isn’t fair, my free time is being used to benefit the company I work for.” Now, I take responsibility and see it as “This is a rewarding opportunity to push my limits, learn and grow.” I chose my career knowing that it would involve lots of travel and the potential for long hours and weekend work. There is no reason to cope in your career (or anything else)- either change your mindset about it, or change it.
Optimism versus Pessimism
What this really comes down to is optimism versus pessimism. When you see your life pessimistically, this leads to helplessness. When you see your life optimistically, this leads to control. Optimism can be learned, but it isn’t an easy path for those accustomed to a pessimistic mindset. The easy path is to quit at the first sign of failure or negative feedback. The less-traveled path is to see negative events as temporary setbacks, or learning experiences. You will gain much more from life taking the optimist’s path versus quitting at the first sign of failure or coping.
It’s Your Choice
All you have is the now. You can spoil it by being miserable and feeling helpless- or enjoy it by motivating yourself and taking control. It’s your choice.
What does it benefit to man if he gains the entire world, but loses himself?
-Jesus Christ
Social programming is the set of instructions each of us learned to fit in with society. Our family members, school teachers, and peer groups were all part of the socialization process. The long-term affect of this socialization is that we seek external approval and external goals in our lives. If we are to take control of our consciousness and pursue our own goals, we must learn to break free from social programming:
Caught in a treadmill of social controls, that person keeps reaching for a prize that always dissolves in his hands. In a complex society, many powerful groups are involved in socializing, sometimes to seemingly contradictory goals . . . Schools, churches, and banks try to turn us into responsible citizens willing to work hard and save . . . merchants, manufacturers, and advertisers to spend our earnings on products that will produce the most profits for them . . . gamblers, pimps, and drug dealers . . . promise rewards for easy dissipation- provided we pay. The messages are very different, but their outcome is essentially the same: they make us dependent on a social system that exploits our energies for its own purposes.
Society tries bribing us at every opportunity. People who submit completely to social programming, and mistakenly believe that their happiness is obtained only by achieving external goals, are “rat racers” who never enjoy the present moments of life.
Do you constantly delay gratification to the future? Are you always looking to others for approval, and setting external goals? If so, your social programming is being used against you:
Ways Your Social Programming Can Be Used Against You
Falsely believing that “once I obtain status, people will like and respect me”
Trying to “keep up with the Joneses”
Becoming popular with lots of people, but not building close relationships with individuals
Approval- “I want to be liked”
Working at a job you hate to pay for your family’s high consumption
Pursuing a career path that Mom or Dad told you to go after
Not speaking up at work when you have a good idea, for fear of getting shot down
Power- “I want to dominate”
Using others only as a means to achieve your goals
Trying to one-up others, dominate conversations
Pinpoint other people’s weaknesses and failures
How to Break Free from Social Programming
The key to breaking free from social programming is not to eliminate all external goals. Instead, it is to create goals that are meaningful to you personally, and then enjoy the day to day process of realizing those goals. Here are some tips for breaking free-
1) Choose your own values, principles, and goals
To assume responsibility for choosing our values, principles, and goals, relying solely upon our own reason and understanding- to honor our internal signals to that extent- is to practice the ultimate form of intellectual independence, the one most difficult for the overwhelming majority of human beings and for which their upbringing has least prepared them.
It’s easy to adopt external goals that society gives you- after all, those are the goals you were programmed to adopt. It’s more difficult to create your own set of values- this requires intellectual independence and aloneness from society.
2) Follow your own vision
You follow your own vision by moving forward with your own personally selected goals, and not letting any external circumstances circumvent who you are. Following your own vision can leave you feeling alone in the world, and requires courage. But the more you are able to become independent and think for yourself, the higher your own self-esteem will be.
3) Accept your aloneness
You must accept your aloneness in order to truly be free of social programming:
We can learn from one another, but we cannot share the act of being conscious or of thinking. We can share the results- namely, our thoughts and perceptions- but consciousness, awareness, thinking, reasoning is, ultimately, an individual, solitary process, not a social one. And many people dread independent thought and judgment precisely because of this factor of inescapable aloneness; it makes them aware of their own separateness as living entities; it makes them aware of the responsibility they must bear for their own existence.
Here is a poem which emphasizes being honest with yourself:
The Guy in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.
-Dale Wimbrow
Note: The word pelf in the first line means “wealth.”
Breaking Free is a Life-Long Process
Your genes instruct you on what feels good and bad, and society bribes you on how to expend your energy. To take control of your consciousness, you must be fully aware of social and genetic programming, and make yourself independent of it as much as possible. By taking control of your consciousness, and following your own vision, you will become better at thinking for yourself and more independent of others.
Breaking free is a life-long process, not a one-time effort. But I promise you, based on my own personal experience- the quality of your own life will improve drastically when you begin the process of breaking free.
Genetic programming is the set of instructions each of us was born with. It gives us instinctual drives such as fight-or-flight that are meant to motivate us toward activities which ensure our survival. In modern day society, if we are to take control of our consciousness and pursue our own goals, we must learn to break free from genetic programming:
Submission to genetic programming can become quite disastrous, because it leaves us helpless. A person who cannot override genetic instructions when necessary is always vulnerable. Instead of deciding how to act in terms of personal goals, he has to surrender to the things that his body has been programmed (or misprogrammed) to do. One must particularly achieve control over instinctual drives to achieve a healthy independence of society, for as long as we respond predictably to what feels good and what feels bad, it is easy for others to exploit our preferences for their own ends.
People who submit completely to their genetic programming, and mistakenly believe that anything which feels good equates to happiness, live by the maxim “seek pleasure and avoid pain.” They are constantly trying to fill their genetic drives in the present, while ignoring the long-term consequences. They are also easier targets for societal organizations that take advantage of an individual’s instinctual drives.
Do you respond predictably to what instinctually makes you feels good and bad? Are you constantly seeking pleasure and avoiding pain? If so, your genetic programming is being used against you:
Ways Your Genetic Programming Can Be Used Against You
Fight-or-Flight- “React to perceived threats”
Getting stuck in “survival mode” due to excessive stress at work
Having an argument with your spouse, resulting in stress
Food- “It tastes good”
Overeating
Using food as a form of self-medication due to being unhappy with your life
Sex- “It feels good”
Constantly being preoccupied with sex, distracting you from your personal goals
Using pornography, strip clubs, or prostitution as a form of self-medication due to being unhappy with your life
Drugs and Alcohol- “It feels good”
Needing alcohol to let loose and have fun at social events
Using drugs as a form of self-medication due to being unhappy with your life
Getting your fix by frequenting bars, liquor stores, or drug dealers
How to Break Free from Genetic Programming
If you cannot resist what feels good, tastes good, or control the way you react to perceived threats, you are not free to direct your consciousness towards the path you choose. You are living your life without taking conscious control of it. But there are some easy habits you can adopt to change the way you respond to genetic programming-
1) Use mental rehearsal to practice taking control of your consciousness
Spend 20-30 minutes a day mentally rehearsing situations in which instinctual drive is taking control- this is when you are reacting to things that taste good, feel good, or responding to perceived threats. In your mind’s eye, take conscious control of the situation, and respond in a positive manner.
For example, if you tend to overeat during meals, mentally rehearse yourself at a restaurant, eating a reasonable portion of food, and leaving the rest, or getting a to-go box. But don’t stop there- mentally rehearse every possible situation in which you need to take control. Visualize yourself responding positively to all sorts of possible scenarios, such as friends bringing snacks to work, or going to a buffet restaurant. You are practicing your self control, the same way a sports player would practice before a game.
You may start to think your time is being wasted, but give this a try for at least a week and you will be surprised. This is because you are tricking your mind- you will begin to notice that it will be easier for you to take control of yourself when the actual situation occurs. Your brain cannot actually tell the difference between mental rehearsal and reality. Keep this up for 21 days and you’ll find yourself much closer towards having complete control of your genetic programming.
2) Create a mantra to use whenever you lose control
Repeat a phrase to yourself every time your genetic programming would typically take control. For example, if you normally get stressed out when you have a lot on your plate at work, you can use the mantra “I’ll handle it.” Then, whenever you feel your muscles get tense and feel yourself slipping into survival mode, repeat the mantra to yourself “I’ll handle it.” Like mental rehearsal, this is a way of tricking your mind. On a subconscious level, your mind will believe your mantra, and you will distract yourself from the typical stress response.
3) Stay in control by staying accountable to yourself and close friends/family members
Find a way to track your progress, such as a daily log showing how many times you took conscious control over your genetic programming. After a month of progress, reward yourself in some way. For example, if you made progress by no longer using alcohol to self-medicate for a month, reward yourself with a nice dinner (note: if you are an alcoholic, I recommend you begin attending AA meetings as a support group).
Tell close friends and family members about your goal of taking control. Make sure you only tell those friends and family members which have been supportive of your personal growth in the past. Otherwise, instead of keeping you accountable, they may hold you back. After you’ve told your supportive friends/family members, ask for their help in keeping you accountable.
Breaking Free is a Life-Long Process
Your genes instruct you on what feels good and bad, and society bribes you on how to expend your energy. To take control of your consciousness, you must be fully aware of social and genetic programming, and make yourself independent of it as much as possible. By taking control of your consciousness, and resisting instinctual drives, you will be free to direct your energy towards the path you choose.
Breaking free is a life-long process, not a one-time effort. But I promise you, based on my own personal experience- the quality of your own life will improve drastically when you begin the process of breaking free.
You have many preconceived notions about what you want from life. These include survival needs programmed by your genes- food, sex, and fight-or-flight. These also include desires programmed by your society- to be well liked, rich, and attractive. If you embrace these needs and desires, you may be lucky and be the perfect fit for your time and place in history. But what if you aren’t so lucky? And whether or not you are lucky, is embracing these needs and desires the best use of your energy?
You must learn to break free from social and genetic programming in order to truly take control of your consciousness and follow your own vision. This two-part series covers-
Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.
Have you answered the ultimate question in your own life? Or are you sleepwalking through each day in autopilot mode? One way to find meaning is by challenging yourself each day, and continuing to grow as an individual.
Move Your Village
An Indian tribe of British Columbia believed that without challenge, life had no meaning. The tribe lived in a very resource-plentiful area, with plenty of salmon and game, and below-ground food- tubers and roots. They had elaborate technologies for using their plentiful environment effectively, and perceived their lives as being good and rich. But at times, the tribe elders said that the world became too predictable and there was no challenge in their life. Canadian ethnographer Richard Kool describes the tribe’s solution:
So the elders, in their wisdom, would decide that the entire village should move, those moves occurring every 25 to 30 years. The entire population would move to a different part of the Shushwap land and there, they found challenge. There were new streams to figure out, new game trails to learn, new areas where the balsamroot would be plentiful. Now life would regain its meaning and be worth living. Everyone would feel rejuvenated and healthy. Incidentally, it also allowed exploited resources in one area to recover after years of harvesting.
Like the tribe, you may be ready for a new challenge. What can you change to “move your village” and bring meaning into your life?
Ways to Move Your Village
Most jobs and leisure activities are not meant to challenge us and help us grow- their intent is to make someone else money. If we are to be challenged and grow from these activities, we must take matters into our own hands.
Challenge Yourself In Your Free Time
Do: Fill your free time with activities that require concentration, increase skills, and lead to personal growth.
Examples: Play tennis, join a band, become a wine connoisseur, learn to swing dance
Don’t: Fill your free time with mindless activities that do not challenge you or lead to personal growth.
Examples: Watching a sitcom on television, watching a sporting event or concert, taking recreational drugs
Note: Some people may take offense that I put “watching a sporting event or concert” in the Don’t category. But living vicariously through musicians, actors, and sports athletes does not challenge you- actually performing the activity does challenge you.
Challenge Yourself At Work
Do: As much as possible, make your work into a game- add variety, appropriate challenges, clear goals, and constant feedback. This will make it more enjoyable and challenging.
Examples: Your manager gives you a challenging assignment, with a clear goal, and provides feedback on the results. For less difficult tasks such as organizing paperwork in file cabinets, you can challenge yourself by setting a time goal for finishing the task, and listen to some energetic music to help you along the way.
Don’t: Cope through your day at work, with no enjoyment or challenges from your job.
Examples: You are assigned work, and you complete the bare minimum of what is required, not challenging yourself or improving your own skills/technique.
How to Move Your Village in the Most Bleak/Boring/Monotonous Situations
Even the least enjoyable of situations can be turned into growth opportunities:
Richard Logan, who has studied the accounts of many people in difficult situations, concludes that they survived by finding ways to turn the bleak objective conditions into subjectively controllable experience . . . First, they paid close attention to the most minute details of their environment, discovering in it hidden opportunities for action that matched what little they were capable of doing, given the circumstances. Then they set goals appropriate to their precarious situation, and closely monitored progress through the feedback they received. Whenever they reached their goal, they upped the ante, setting increasingly complex challenges for themselves.
When we feel jittery, or worried, or anxious in thinking of the great amount of work that lies before us, the jittery feelings are not caused by the work, but by our mental attitude- which is “I ought to be able to do this all at once.” The truth is: We can only do one thing at a time. When we work with this attitude, we are able to concentrate and think our best.
A few weeks ago, I realized that my multitasking habits on the computer were starting to impact my productivity. As I became more active in reading blogs/RSS feeds, Digg, Facebook, Twitter, and Plurk, I became less effective at actually getting things done that matter to me. So what did I do? I asked Timothy Ferriss (not literally- I re-read a chapter of The 4-Hour Workweek).
Ferriss recommends that each evening, you think about what task needs to be completed, and ask yourself about the next day, “If this is the only thing I accomplish tomorrow, will I be satisfied with my day?”. Then, write down 2 mission-critical tasks that you’d like to get done the next day. Instead of using computerized to-do lists, Ferriss recommends that we revert to paper, to limit the amount of information we put on our list:
I use a standard piece of paper folded three times to about 2″ x 3 1/2″, which fits perfectly in the pocket and limits you to noting only a few items. There should never be more than two mission-critical items to complete each day. Never. It just isn’t necessary if they’re actually high-impact.
The next day, you perform these two tasks separately from start to finish without distraction. I have implemented Ferriss’ simple productivity strategy in my own life, limiting my multi-tasking habits, and focusing on 2 mission-critical tasks each day. After trying this for a few weeks, I have found that his solution works great- my productivity skyrocketed, am I am also happier and feel more gratified with my work.
What makes it work?
Parkinson’s Law- Work expands to fill the time available. This is the magic of the imminent deadline, and works well for completing 2 daily mission-critical tasks.
80/20 Rule (The Pareto Principle)- For many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In relation to 2 mission-critical tasks, your 2 tasks should be part of the 20% that results in your desired outcome (e.g. increased income, productivity, happiness). Again, make sure you ask yourself “If this is the only thing I accomplish today, will I be satisfied with my day?”
Before you get started using Ferriss’ approach to productivity, please be aware of these 2 challenges with the approach:
Challenges with the 2 Mission-Critical Tasks Approach
1) 80/20 optimizations can sometimes cut out critical tasks
This is what’s wrong with a lot of 80/20 optimizations- the belief that truncating the system at the head will optimize its effectiveness; in many cases it actually cuts off a critical piece of the overall ecosystem.
Solution: When you define your daily mission-critical tasks, be careful not to cut out/stop doing anything that is critical to your long-term success.
2) You may have a bunch of smaller tasks you need to complete in a day
Solution: Bundle your tasks into 2 larger mission-critical tasks. For example, if I want to write three blog posts in a day, I would consider this one of my mission-critical tasks: “Write 3 Blog Posts for Life Evolver”.
There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. -Author Unknown
Super-Replicating Belief: A Belief that has some property which facilitates its own transmission, which makes it be held by an increasing number of minds.
There is a super-replicating false belief in our society that sleeping in is lazy. Sleeping in is not lazy- many individuals would actually be more productive if they slept in versus waking up early. But as a whole, promoting the belief that sleeping in is lazy serves the needs of a stable society, in which individuals are all on similar schedules.
What are some of the ways that society makes us feel guilty for sleeping in?
“Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes a Man Healthy Wealthy and Wise”
Early risers are considered more productive than those who sleep in
We are only supposed to need 8 hours of sleep, and people often brag about getting by on less
If we sleep in, we may feel out of synch with the 9-5 society
The online community, including bloggers Steve Pavlina and Leo Babauta, promote becoming early risers
There is no need to feel guilty or lazy- here are 5 reasons why sleeping in will boost your productivity:
5 Reasons Why Sleeping In Every Day Will Boost your Productivity
Are you a Night Owl?
1) Depending on your chronotype, you may be a Night Owl living in a Morning Lark’s world
Morning Lark: Morning person, naturally wakes up 2 hours earlier than the majority of the population, is ready for sleep between 8pm - 10pm. Cope more easily with early shifts.
Night Owl: Night person, naturally wakes up 2 hours later than the majority of the population, doesn’t feel sleepy until 12am - 2am. Cope more easily with late shifts.
Many creative types, such as writers, actors, and computer programmers, tend to be Night Owls. If they don’t have to get up early for work, many Night Owls choose to go along with there inherent sleep schedule and work until very late at night.
2) Most people need more than 8 hours of sleep
Before the invention of the electric light in 1879, most people slept 10 hours each night, and this has recently been discovered as the ideal amount of sleep for optimum performance. Additionally, people in cultures that are free from the demands of modern society typically sleep 10 hours each night. There are big benefits to sleeping ten hours per night:
Research Center of the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, Michigan, have demonstrated that alertness significantly increases when eight-hour sleepers who claim to be well rested get an additional two hours of sleep. Energy, vigilance, and the ability to effectively process information are all enhanced, as are critical thinking skills and creativity.
3) Sleep consistency is important; the time you wake up is not (unless you must get up for work)
Sleep consistency is key- this is why I named this post “5 Reasons Why Sleeping In Every Day Will Boost your Productivity”. But the time you wake up is not important:
In 1757 Benjamin Franklin gave us the epigram “early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” It would be more accurate to say “Consistently to bed and consistently to rise….” As long as you fulfill your sleep requirement without interruption, it doesn’t really matter what time you go to bed or get up.
Sleeping in can improve your long-term memory retention
4) Sleeping in can improve your long-term memory retention, memory organization, and learning
REM Sleep: Stage of sleep with predominant eye movements and dreaming. During REM, brain neuronal pathways are fired randomly, and REM sleep causes strengthening of memory circuits similar to lifting weights causes strengthening of muscles.
When you fall asleep at night, you go through 4 stages of sleep every 90 to 110 minutes. You typically go through 4-5 cycles of these stages each night. With each successive cycle, more time is spent in REM stage. During later sleep cycles, REM sleep increases from twenty to as much as sixty minutes.
Whenever you have a short night of sleep, you eliminate the long REM periods that come toward morning. This can have significant negative consequences in terms of your learning, thinking, memory, and performance. The only solution is for you to get more sleep.
5) Sleeping in allows you to catch up on sleep debt
Sleeping is a way for you to catch up on sleep debt (Hours of sleep you need per night - Hours of sleep you actually get). In my sleep debt post, I recommend that instead of sleeping in, you catch up on sleep debt by going to bed earlier. However, if you can’t get to bed early, and can’t get enough sleep in your normal schedule, it’s smart to sleep in to catch up on sleep debt when you are able to.
Now that you know the benefits, here are three tips for becoming a late riser:
How to Become a Late Riser
Note: If you are a Morning Lark, and easily awaken at an early hour, you will generally not be able to become a late riser. This advice is for Night Owls who do not wake up easily for work.
For freelancers and those in control of their own work schedule, sleeping in is an easy habit to adopt. But what about the rest of us? Here are some solutions for the regular worker:
1) Talk to your employer about flextime
Flextime allows you to determine when you work, so you can sleep in every day if you negotiate coming in late with your employer.
2) Talk to your employer about working from home
Talk to your boss about working from home one day of the week. Prove that you can be trusted, and then negotiate working from home full-time. As part of this arrangement, make sure to negotiate working on your own hours (so you can sleep in).
3) No flextime and can’t work from home? Quit your job
If your employer doesn’t allow flextime or working from home, and you are a Night Owl, and getting up early each morning is hell for you, why not consider some alternatives? You could find another employer that is more flexible, or you could start your own business. Either way, you would be more productive working your own hours, versus the hours that society chooses for you.
4) No flextime, can’t work from home, and don’t want to quit your job? Sleep in and face the consequences
