Be miserable or motivate yourself. Be helpless or in control. Blame someone or take responsibility. These are examples of two ways you can see your life. One way leads to happiness, the other to dissatisfaction.
I’m working through this weekend with my project team to complete an approaching deadline. At one point in time, I would have seen working the weekend as “This isn’t fair, my free time is being used to benefit the company I work for.” Now, I take responsibility and see it as “This is a rewarding opportunity to push my limits, learn and grow.” I chose my career knowing that it would involve lots of travel and the potential for long hours and weekend work. There is no reason to cope in your career (or anything else)- either change your mindset about it, or change it.
Optimism versus Pessimism
What this really comes down to is optimism versus pessimism. When you see your life pessimistically, this leads to helplessness. When you see your life optimistically, this leads to control. Optimism can be learned, but it isn’t an easy path for those accustomed to a pessimistic mindset. The easy path is to quit at the first sign of failure or negative feedback. The less-traveled path is to see negative events as temporary setbacks, or learning experiences. You will gain much more from life taking the optimist’s path versus quitting at the first sign of failure or coping.
It’s Your Choice
All you have is the now. You can spoil it by being miserable and feeling helpless- or enjoy it by motivating yourself and taking control. It’s your choice.
Remember the old advice, “Winners never quit, quitters never win”? It’s wrong. In fact, winners quit often- as entrepreneur and marketing guru Seth Godin explains, “to stick with something in an absence of further progress is a waste.” In his short book The Dip, Godin provides a simple framework for looking at anything you do in life, and deciding when to quit. He uses three patterns to describe situations you could be facing in your life (e.g., your career, an exercise routine, relationships):
Three Patterns You Could Be Facing in Your Life
The Dip: The most difficult part of the journey- “the long slog between starting and mastery.”
Example: A new business that hasn’t quite taken off yet
The Cul-de-Sac: The plateau. You put in a lot of time and energy, but you still don’t end up anywhere.
Example: Dead-end job
The Cliff: The peak and drastic descend. Your future efforts, even when greater than past efforts, won’t be enough.
Example: Smoking
The Dip is a temporary setback, while The Cul-De-Sac and The Cliff ultimately lead to failure
Strategic Quitting
If you are in a cul-de-sac or cliff situation (above), these both lead to failure so you should quit. You have finite time and energy, and should use it towards parts of your life that you can be excellent at. If you are in a dip situation, you need to decide under what circumstances you will quit. Strategic quitting is when you decide to “outline your quitting strategic before the discomfort sets in.”
Using Strategic Quitting When Setting Goals
I decided to implement strategic quitting when I set new goals for myself. For each new goal I set, I now keep track of “Circumstances in which I will Quit.” This way, I will ensure that I am quitting something for the right reasons, not because of stress of the moment. It also helps me decide if a new endeavor is even worth committing to if I cannot commit to the “Circumstances in which I will quit.”
Here are a few examples of how to you can use this method in your goal setting (assuming you are in a dip pattern):
Example 1) Starting a new business
I will continue working my hardest on this my new business unless I am still unprofitable after X time.
Example 2) Maintaining your exercise routine
I will exercise X times per week for the next X months, unless I get injured.
Example 3) Doing your best at your job/career
I will continue doing my best at my current career, unless it has a significant negative impact on my health and/or professional/personal goals.
Example 4) Making an investment
If this investment loses me more than X%, I will sell it (could do this systematically if it’s a stock using a Stop Order).
The Benefit of Using Strategic Quitting When Setting Goals
The main benefit of using strategic quitting when setting goals is that you will begin giving your all in whatever endeavor you get involved in, versus coping:
Coping is what people do when they try to muddle through… The problem with coping is that it never leads to exceptional performance… All coping does is waste your time and misdirect your energy. If the best you can do is cope, you’re better off quitting. Quitting is better than coping because quitting frees you up to excel at something else… Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.
Strategic quitting allows you to focus your energy on doing your best, versus that gray area where you aren’t doing your best but you aren’t quitting.
Three questions to ask yourself before quitting: Am I panicking, who am I trying to influence, and what sort of measurable progress am I making? These will help you determine if you are quitting for the right reasons, or simply quitting because you can’t deal with the stress of the moment.
Here’s some more advice from Mr. Godin on when to quit:
